Wednesday 11 November 2015

He

He  blew the horn three times and they came after her.
She had crossed the wrong street
They had no mercy
She laid there crying while the vultures ate their prey.
Ripped and torn she gathered herself
They told her to keep her mouth shut and pretend it never happened.

She told no soul...

Monday 12 October 2015

A letter to my grandmother

It's on those sunny  afternoon just before sunset I remember you  the most. The late night chats on the stoep that made me understand you more. The gentle touches on my back and the  kisses on my forhead that assured me of your love.

I miss our hair nights when it was just the two of us and you allowed me to braid your hair and we would fall asleep in the living room  with television on.

Its only now that I see the importance of your presence when my tears are unkept and tissues have no use. Its moments of sadness that I miss your cheerful  laugh.
And its on the lonliest  mornings when its hard to  wake  up that I wish you were here

I miss you ...I know that one day I will think of you and not cry but will rather smile because you lived and gave love like no other. You were more than my granny you were my other half and I glad to have met you.
Until we meet again in the after life.

"Robala ka khotso"  May you sleep in peace.

Wednesday 26 August 2015

The break up

She knew it was over. She knew that regardless of how much she tried or what he said it was over.

Sitting in silence across from each other.  She knew that by the end of the date they would leave separately. It would hurt like hell but she could no longer keep pretending.

He had changed and she was tired of his excuses. They ordered their drinks. 

He told her that he would has fallen out of love with her. Her heart sank. He had thought about cheating but he couldn't do it because he didnt want to hurt her.

She took a sip her drink. He told her that he's never been good with relationships and he would  rather be friends.She kept quiet.

He asked her why she hadn't said anything.
The waiter came and took their orders and left.
She asked him why  he pursued her when he knew that he wasn't relationship material. He struggled to answer her.  She got up and left...

Friday 21 August 2015

Suicide

We've all been here.When tomorrow no longer matters.When the  pain no longer bearable. When peace ceases to exist. We slowly open the door of death so that darkness can consumes us.

It's in the silence that we realise that death is our only option an escape from all our problems.So the mere thought of having peace is what drives our intention and we find ourselves taking our own breathe never thinking about own flesh but rather seeking hope in death.

Tuesday 11 August 2015

Maybe

Maybe we are forgotten. Our presence is just another memory deleted from existence.

Maybe we were never created,  just a thought in God's mind. Maybe the world doesn't exist. We are just characters  in a long movie and we are only playing a scene until he replaces you with someone. Maybe death is not literal death. Maybe your charater has been exhausted and its time they brought someone who's and young and fresh.
Maybe there are parts you'll play in in another world. Maybe thats why we need to die.

Maybe we are just figments of someones imagination.
Maybe ...

Sunday 9 August 2015

Love

To think that love could save you. When it's broken so many hearts is pure ignorance. To think that love could erase his faults and deem you from your insecurities is lies in itself.
That loving someone more than yourself will make him love you more. Who lied to you and told you that love could replace the past and bury hachets.

We expect love to do all the hard work while we figure out how we can excuse our actions.We give love a responsibility that wasn't love's responsibility in the first place.

So quit  blaming love for your actions.

Friday 7 August 2015

She


She wore mirrors on her body reflecting every demon that  possessed her. Dancing until the ground cracked.
She kneeled down to creatures of the water immersing herself in their realm.

Monday 3 August 2015

Cracked lips

She had dark cracked lips. Darker than the hair on her crown. She walked with a sense of  grace that  one had never exprienced. Bearing scars on her back. She learned to fend for herself.

She had cracked lips that saliva couldn't repair.

Friday 31 July 2015

Memories

Its the endless memories that linger the most
When the heart yearns...
But they too soon fade away...

Leaving you  with bits and pieces of individuals but never the whole person...

They're just memories...

Thursday 30 July 2015

We don't cry anymore

Our wells are dried up. Like drought
cracks on hardend soil.  We no longer cry because the rain stopped coming a long time ago...

Tuesday 7 July 2015

Last night

I dreamt about her red lipstick and pale skin. How they dragged him down the street. I dreamed about her and I walking down the street.She had a checked skirt on. She looked happy I looked happy. We were suppose to meet but I didn't get to him in time. They had already taken him.
I greeted her. She never replied. I couldn't save him. He had a  blue jersey on. She waved goodbye. They took him away.
Last night I dreamt about her but I couldn't save him...

Wednesday 24 June 2015

Eygpt

Solid walls built in ancient times
Broken into pieces that mummified my existence. Like pharoah I layed dead until my tomb was senseless. With no will to live but the thrill of dying...

Converse sneakers

All she wanted was to travel the world in dirty converse  sneakers. Take pictures of  monuments,  draw her name in the red sand. Eat african fruits and wear a headwrap. Immerse herself in different cultures

Lay on the beach eat local cusines, write, get henna tatoos, listen to music, ride a bicycle, swim, hike
And learn a new language. 

But instead she was stuck in her bedroom dreaming. Having tried her best to leave her God forsaken township she has failed miserably.
All she has is a head full of dreams none coming true...

Sunday 21 June 2015

What if ...

When it's all said and done. It's those moments you sit alone and think of what went wrong? If only  you could've done this or that. But would it have  made a difference?
Often times we don't have control over the situation and even though we try to fix it we end up failing.

But what if ...

Even after all your efforts there still a little voice that keeps saying but what if..

In the end you sit up frustrated with tears that you won't fall waiting for an answer that isn't there.
And you eventually close your eyes and go to sleep hoping that tomorrow will be better.
That the night will bring light but instead it brings more confusion and an endless list of what if's

Thursday 18 June 2015

Hums

He hummed a song to me once.
Told me he learned it from his grandfather. He would pull up a chair near the coal stove take out his pipe, light it and would slowly go into a trance. He'd tell me about the good old  days and how he's been working since the age of five.
And how he ran away from home at the age of twelve when the abuse became unbearable.
In between our conversation he'd keep quiet and bow his head. In an attempt to fight back the tears.

Grandma would eventually call us to the dinning room to eat. I would always get up and leave him behind. So he could wipe his tears.

I never saw him cry...

Monday 15 June 2015

Dreams

I asked father if he dreamed about you he said every day. Which gave me the reassurance that I wasn’t the only one missing you.  I wake up to a soaking pillow and uncontrollable sobs almost every day.  Hoping it would be dream and that you would turn around rub my back and tell me to go back to sleep.

But all I’m confronted with is an empty pillow and unbearable darkness.

I don’t know how long it will take to move on.  To remember you without tears in my eyes or how a many dreams I will have of you. All I hope for is that one day I remain in the dream with you and never experience the hurt of waking up and you not being there

Friday 12 June 2015

Slipping away

When your weak and frail
Low and sad
Tired and drained
And life is a pain
That irks your soul
And words fail
And sleep no longer gives rest
And your eyes have no tears
And you can longer talk
And  you shiver like leaf on a rainy day
And numbness is all you feel
All you will have is you
So be gentle with yourself

Tuesday 13 January 2015

Emoji

We are the emoji generation.Our emotions are equivalent to a yellow face drop down waste of time if thats what you your willing to give me. Face time is all I am willing take to see who you are...
who do you  think your impressing. We all think we winning truth is, we all just frontin believing that a face with a smile on it can fix all our insides.
Juvenile mindset.  A youth not bloody sure who and what they feel. Take a moment to look within then maybe the truth would come out and they would stop hiding their true emotions.Instead of posting  a face with a smile on it